When it’s Time to Try Something New: A Thanksgiving Story

I have always cherished traditions—birthday cakes, coloring eggs, the vibrant tapestry of autumn leaves, and Christmas lights that bring hope to the darkness. These yearly milestones spice up the year with delightful anticipation and serve as the connective tissue of a family. 

Among the holidays, Thanksgiving holds a special place in my heart. A magical time when the world slows down enough for families to gather and celebrate the warmth of togetherness.

The Challenge of Family Gatherings

Both my husband and I come from small families, each with its own set of complexities. His parents divorced, and my mother passed away, leaving our families as a web of sometimes messy relationships. Once we had children, the family drama and the effort of traveling between our parents, who lived several states apart, became too challenging. It was time to try something new.

We decided to invite both sides of the family to our house for Thanksgiving, creating one large extended family gathering. To our delight, everyone loved it. Family drama vanished, replaced by laughter and shared stories around the dinner table.

Traditions are the lifeblood of our past, and each family member associated the holiday with a specific food that sparked a special memory. My husband fondly remembered the fresh homemade chocolate chip cookies his grandmother had waiting for their arrival. We both recalled sneaking slices as a tasty snack from a baked ham served the night before. Some family members requested sweet potato casserole, while others wanted anything but that. We combined, added, and edited requests, trying to honor what made the holiday special for each person.

To accommodate family members who lived far away, our house transformed into a small hotel during the days surrounding Thanksgiving. Various arrival and departure dates added to the chaos, but we reveled in the time together. While the ebb and flow increased the workload, it was manageable.

Each year, requests for adjustments bubbled up. My father-in-law had special dietary needs. One sister requested a reprise of green bean casserole, while another wanted the spinach-squash dish. Everyone lobbied for their favorites. I admit to a wee bit of grumbling about the growing requests. Our son overheard and made one of his own. He didn’t like pumpkin pie and asked me to make an apple cranberry pie—his favorite. How could I refuse?

This little change opened the floodgates. My husband and his sister loved pecan pie. My father-in-law and his son loved my carrot cake. Before I knew it, I was baking enough to supply a small restaurant.

I reached a breaking point. We had to simplify! Hard choices had to be made. What I thought would be the easiest change became the most difficult. 

Breaking Free of What Doesn’t Work

One simplification was dropping pumpkin pie from the offering. It was nobody’s favorite—one or two slices might be eaten. Meanwhile, people often indulged in slices of both apple and pecan pie with a piece of carrot cake on the side. But when I suggested the change an all-out revolt ensued. How dare I break with tradition. What’s Thanksgiving without pumpkin pie? I became the Thanksgiving Grinch.

So, I took a different approach and asked each person to vote for the dessert they wanted the most. No votes were cast for pumpkin. One cousin insisted she couldn’t imagine the holiday without it and brought a frozen version. It remained uneaten.

The Courage to Try Something New

Embracing change is never easy, especially when it comes to traditions that have been part of our lives for so long. But it can also be liberating. In the end, trying something new didn’t mean abandoning the past; it meant evolving it. It was a lesson in flexibility and the courage to let go of what no longer served us. We created a new tradition, one that was uniquely ours, and it was perfect in its own imperfect way.

My journey to becoming an author required me to embrace many changes. Taking the first scary step to try something new, embracing a new identity, and having the courage to persist in my journey.

So, here’s to the courage to change, to the willingness to break free from what doesn’t work, and to the joy of discovering new traditions that bring us closer together.