‘Twas the day after Christmas, and at the North Pole,
The holiday season had taken its toll.
The reindeer were stabled, the elves in their beds,
And dreams of vacation swirled in my head.
When in the front hall, there arose such a clatter,
I flew through the house to see what was the matter.
And what did I find when I reached the door,
But an unwanted guest I’d seen once before.
“Dear husband,” I said. My face wore a frown,
“Why are you standing there next to that clown?”
Santa’s eyes twinkled as he shook off the snow,
“I brought Zanni here to help run the show.”
I looked at my husband, convinced he’d gone mad,
“Might I remind you this man is a cad.
He promised the sky and making us great,
But what he excelled at was whipping up hate.
He hangs with a crowd who’d sell their own soul,
For power, or cash … hell, even for coal.
We could use some help, there’s plenty to do,
But we need to find someone who will follow through.”
Santa looked at his feet and then shook his head,
“I want you to know, wife, I’ve heard what you said.
But he’s learned his lesson; how bad can he be,
He has rabid fans, and he’s big on TV.”
“You’ve got to be kidding,” I said with a yell,
The last time we tried this, he made our lives hell.
He lied, and he pouted, and claimed he was smart,
It soon became clear that he had a cold heart.
The elves went on strike, he hated to work
He declared himself king and behaved like a jerk.
When you showed him the door, he wouldn’t desist,
He started a riot and then stole the list.”
Santa’s droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
He stroked his beard and said, “What do you know?
I forgot all of that, put it out of my mind,
The minute we left his chaos behind.”
Then Santa continued to dwell in his way,
“Remember when Rudi, once saved the day?
Well, Rudi’s a fan and wants Zanni brought back,
And Rudi’s involved with a powerful PAC.”
“Oh husband, remember, you jolly old elf,
This clown only thinks of what’s best for himself.
I know we have problems, the list is quite long,
But Zanni is helpless to fix what is wrong.
We’ve made some great progress in case you forgot,
By working together and embracing right thought.
If you let him back in, he’ll destroy what we’ve wrought
He’s crafted a larger, sinister plot.”
“Ahem,” Zanni started, I’d forgot he was there,
“I hate to interrupt this family affair.
I came here, Santa, invited by you
Then stood here and gave that woman her due.
You shouldn’t listen to all that she said,
She’s twisting the truth to mess with your head.
Ignore what I say, focus on what gets done,
Words mean so little, I say shit for fun.
Do I fight dirty, you betcha I do,
I like to win, and I bet you do too.
You’re facing a crisis, but I have a plan
I’ll fix things up here as only I can.”
I could tell he had Santa under his spell,
The clown was a huckster, and man, he could sell.
If I didn’t act fast, all hope would be lost
I pressed the red button to call in Jack Frost.
Then offered up cookies on a bright Christmas plate
Zanni grabbed for the largest, sealing his fate.
He chewed, and he crunched, crumbs covered the floor
Then he found himself speechless like never before.
His lips were glued shut, he just couldn’t speak.
Jumping and stomping, he started to freak.
Santa laughed as I placed the plate on a shelf,
“Zanni, my friend, you did this to yourself.
The cookies you ate are called Naughty and Nice.
Taste great if you’re good; if you’re bad, there’s a price.
They teach you a lesson that you need to learn,
Once you’ve learned that lesson, your voice will return.”
The front door blew open, a cold gust rushed in,
Jack stood in the doorway, wearing a grin.
“Zanni, old boy, why aren’t you in jail,
Don’t tell me some fool released you on bail.
You’re a big bully spewing bluster and lies
But hold onto your hat, I have a surprise.
Mrs. Claus has decided to take full control,
To ensure our sanity and save the North Pole.
She chose me to help with running this place,
I work well with others and don’t cause disgrace.
It’s time you understood, words are part of the deal.
Instead of wounding, choose words that will heal.”
Then placing a finger aside of his nose,
He and that clown, up the chimney they rose.
I was left standing alone with St. Nick,
“Well, my dear husband, that should do the trick.”
He gave me a hug and said, “You were right.
I’m ready for bed; it’s been a long night.”
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